I seem to possess a singular talent, one I would gladly live without.
I always seem to fall for the wrong woman.
Be it the woman who was friendly and kind to me…and didn’t bother to tell me she was engaged. Or the woman who insisted that she had been separated from her husband for several months…and then gave me a Facebook page to ‘keep in touch with her’ through that turned out to be the one she shared with her husband (and they’d posted several happy photos of them partying together just a few days before). I seem to have a talent for picking women I can never have, or who will never want me.
Why is that?
Can anyone explain it to me?
I wish someone would.
I just told a woman goodbye, a woman my heart told me to love, but my head told me would never feel the same way about me. She was beautiful, but unlike many beautiful women I’ve known, she was kind, even to those who were not kind to her. The more I got to know her, the more my heart cried out for her. But my head….my head knew that being young enough to be my daughter, there was no way she could be attracted to me. A recent string of exchanged texts and missed meetings made those doubts stronger, strong enough to cause me to bid her farewell. I feel no animosity towards her, in fact, my last message to her was to wish her a long and successful life.
But did I give up too early?
Or was it a fool’s errand to even think she might have feelings for me?
I don’t know, but now, all I feel is empty, like a hole has opened up inside of me. It’s a feeling I’ve experienced before, a pain I have lived through more times than I care to remember…but that doesn’t make it any easier to bear.